Tears

My eyelids

                Are still swollen from crying

I can still taste the salt on my face

And yet it means nothing to you

                You think tears have no place

In this journey we are taking...

This life we are living

For you its not as complicated

There doesn’t need to be so much emotion

Fulfillment

Joy.

Everything's fine

                In your eyes

You don’t see..

                What the fuss is...

But that's the point.

You don’t see.

One day you will wake up

And I am not there anymore

                And you will wonder why

Even though for years I have been trying to make you see

This ache I feel

I have reached out

                And begged, and cried, and spilt my heart to you

But you don’t see

                What the big deal is

One day you will wake up

And I am not there anymore

By your side

And you will not think it is your fault

You will put it on me,

                I know this now,

Because even with your I love yous

                When I bleed and I ache

                You look at me like I'm being stupid...

                                And its “my problem’’

My overreacting, and emotional stuff and nonsense

And I see, that perhaps you don’t even know it yourself

But you don’t really care anymore.

My tears are wasted,    

              because all they are , 

                        are salt on my face

They mean nothing to you.

My ache is a silent storm..

                     ....that has no friends, no sympathetic shoulder to listen

Just  paternal politically correct condescending slaps in the face from you when I try to open up..

“I get it, I must have been.....” you say,

                                                   so cold, so hoarse...

But with no following sorry or I care or I understand

So my tears are wasted,

                Because to you they mean nothing.

 They are perhaps a tool you think

That I whip out...but they are nothing.

One day you will wake up,

                In your empty bed...and wished you had listened

Really listened. Without distraction, without a phone call or a text message to reply to..

You will realise you never listened...but by then I will not be there...

And my tears, just wont be your problem anymore.